there was this guy i really liked, a senior who had nice arms and deep eyes. i didn’t even fucking remember it but i hooked up with him and some other kid and even though he didn’t really do too much to me, the other kid really fucked with me a lot. when i woke up the next morning and looked in the mirror and saw the bruises my heart absolutely broke. not just the hickeys. the bruises on my hips, the bruises on my wrists. the gross taste in my mouth that i later realized was from giving my first blowjob, ever. my first blowjob and i could hardly fucking remember it, not until later in the morning when i started coming to and remembering everything that happened, the way he kept shoving my head down, hardly even letting me breathe because i said i had my period and wouldn’t fuck him. he told me how bad i was and i think i started crying at one point but he made me keep going.
i’ve never told the whole side of my story to anyone and i don’t think i’m ever going to. all i know is that i’m not going to let myself go through that again. never again.